


Honey, Let's Go Home

by avacat123



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Abuse, Gen, Neglect, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:14:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28806381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avacat123/pseuds/avacat123
Summary: Tommy is done with playing by the universe's game. He wants to die, so die he will. Or perhaps not?OrVent fic with major themes of self-harm, a suicide attempt, and Techno being the best brother a boy could ask for without actually being family.
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 204





	Honey, Let's Go Home

**Author's Note:**

> Please heed the tags!!! Also I uploaded this on my phone so sorry if a tag is missing or something. I got all the major ones. This is sad, I think??? Be careful and stay safe.

Tommy knows he’s unlovable. It’s clear in the way Phil never bothers to visit him. It’s clear in the way Wilbur decided to die and leave Tommy so horribly alone. It’s clear in the way Tubbo refuses to look at him after making him the vice president of a cursed country that cares not for the people who built it. Tommy stares from the top of a dirt tower built to the heavens and wonders if anyone really cared about him. Tommy the annoying pain in the ass who’s wormed his way into not one but two families that he unintentionally ruined. A group of boys who fought god and won, who broke apart after a betrayal so deep and cutting that none of them could trust each other anymore. A father and son, Phil and Wilbur, who claimed to love him to the moon and back but ultimately crushed what was left of his heart into dust. The pain lights his body on fire, redstone instead of blood it boils and bubbles under his skin hoping for release. And release it will get. He stares off at the setting sun and the ocean lapping gently on the shore in front of him and grabs the little dagger he managed to steal from Dream. It’s become a comfort, slashing little lines into every surface of his body. Redstone burns hot but cools in the fresh air, his blood is much the same. He grips the cheap handle of the dagger and presses it into the fat found on his stomach (there is no fat there because he has not eaten in weeks, his best friend Dream will not let him eat and that is fine because Tommy does not deserve to eat). A quick slash, a sizzle of redstone, and an explosion of euphoria. Things stay the same he supposes. He doesn’t expect to live much longer, after all the dirt he is made of calls so sweetly to him and he wants nothing more than to face plant directly into it. A voice calls out from below.

Suddenly Tommy is reminded of the last member of his family, could he even call them that anymore? Technoblade is possibly the only person who has ever understood Tommy. Technoblade who hears the voices of thousands screaming for blood, death, and vengeance. Technoblade who was his father’s favorite without ever being an official son. Technoblade who was so excellent at everything he ever even tried to do, while all Tommy could do was try and fail. But there was warmth where Technoblade was concerned. The man would stay up with him when he had nightmares as a child, horrible bloody visions of a future that would come to pass. He would patiently explain concepts that were foregin to the boy. His favorite pastime was sitting with Techno in front of a warm fire and a deep monotone voice reading various Greek myths to him, for him. It was a blessing to have Techno in their home because Tommy actually got attention for once in his life, he was seen and heard. But those moments fade through his mind like fog and while he would love to think about his older brother, the one who hated him, who tried to kill him, who was right, he can’t right now. He needs to shatter and break and disappear to a thousand particles. Tommy needs to rest.

“-OMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Technoblade calls loud and strained.Tommy can’t determine the tone used, he just hopes the man isn’t angry. Tommy can’t handle another person being mad at him.

“I’m gonna fuck jump Technoblade. It’s over. I’m done, through, ready to move on.” He lets out a wet laugh. Driving home a wild slash with the dagger into his arm he laughs loudly and carefree. Blood spurts from the wound and he can tell the exact moment Technoblade realizes he’s bleeding because a ragged curse hits his ears. “What’s wrong dear Technoblade? Finally realizing what a fucking failure I am? Or do you want the final blow? I’d happily let you drive home a sword into my chest.”

There’s no response, a bit boring, but that’s classic Blade. Unable to deal with any emotion beside bloodlust and hate. Well Tommy doesn’t have much time left, there was only so much time in a sunset and Tommy planned to be long gone by the time the moon rose. A poetic death, he thinks. Pushed to the brink by his caretaker, his best friend Dream, and “thrown” off a cliff (is it still throwing if you’re the one who initiates the fall?). He stands up to his full height and imagines his female astronaut, his Clara, staring down at him and waiting for the companion he promised her. He lets out a wild whoop and positions himself on top of his tower to the heavens, he watches the sunset and listens to the gentle crash on the beach and the sound of clunking netherite boots and water being moved- what is Technoblade doing? Doesn’t really matter, Tommy tenses his muscles and takes a final leap of faith hoping that for once the world will listen to his pleas and allow him to finally fucking die.

He falls for a startlingly long time, the wind feels good on his face and the blood hits the air and spreads out in a wide arch. He relishes in the feeling of control that cutting and jumping gave him, even if those thoughts had been implanted into him by Dream and Wilbur. Tears gather in his dull eyes and he lets out a laugh. He waits patiently for the smack of dirt and the all-encompassing pain that comes with fall-damage deaths. It……………

Doesn’t come. He hits a pool of water that was clearly put there to stop his fall. He almost takes the dagger clutched in his hands and turns it to throat, but there’s arms surrounding his waist and he’s sure he feels rain hit the top of his head. What the fuck just happend?

“Oh honey.” A deep voice says and he can feel the rumble of it through his back, but it can’t be because Dream said no one cared about him and Dream was always right. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you. I should’ve tried harder. Fuck! No one should be left alone with Dream. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry don’t leave me bubba.” 

Tommy looks up in total shock as the Technoblade, a mighty warrior who has won countless wars with only his own prowess, who's sobbing into Tommy’s hair. It’s weird. He’s not sure he’s ever even seen Technoblade cry before but here they are, Tommy bleeding from new self-inflicted wounds, regret making a home in his chest because he just wanted to die not have the man he’s always seen as a brother hold him like he’s stained glass. It hits Tommy’s then and there as the sun finally dips beneath the horizon and night blankets the server that he’s failed. Again. Tears blur his vision. 

Two brothers, who chose each other, sob into the night. And if a female astronaut in space smiles down on these two and wishes them the best well that’s no one’s business but her own. Voices chant for safety and the blood of a certain green clad man. A blood god sobs into his little brother’s hair and clutches the boy closer when he hears the boy’s own cries. A teenager watches his world continue without his consent, someday he will heal. The moon rises and monsters come out of their hovels. It will be okay.


End file.
